The Airport Security Solution

The best ideas are the simple ones......
The Airport Solution
Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at
the airports.

Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will
detonate any explosive device you may have on you.

It would be a win-win for everyone, there would be none of this
hassle about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and
expensive trial.

Justice would be quick and swift. Case closed!
This is so simple that it's brilliant.

I can see it now: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers we now have a seat available on flight number..."

Larry, The Cable Guy

"Even after the recent Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I
have noticed a large number of people implying with bad jokes that
Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I
disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet
below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats is a
damn genius".

Tips On How To Intall A Home Security System

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size
14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns
& Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a
note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.
Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pitbulls; they
attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up
bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter


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The Interview

Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years
before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind
their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.
Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are
happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem
happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land Mines."
Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak or where you go):

BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN


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