Quotes For Thought

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
— Oscar Levant

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
— Mark Twain

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."
— Terry Pratchett (Thief of Time)

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
— Groucho Marx

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."
— Orson Welles

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
— George Burns


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Office Terms

Boss spelled backwards is a double SOB.

Businessman's lunch is something to hold down a couple of martinis.

Paying peanuts means you get monkeys.

Golf is simply an excuse to have the flu.

Office snoop is simply an automatic teller.

Motivators are cheerleaders in sweater vests.

*****If you aren't feeling guilty you must be an overachiever*****

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