Things I've Learned Not To Do

To all my friends, thank you for sending me your chain letters.

I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found it is good for removing toilet stains.

I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I have stopped answering the phone for fear they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I will get a bill from Tokyo, Singapore, or the Philipines.

I stopped consuming several foods for fear the estrogens they contain may may contain may turn me gay.

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because I found out that McDonalds and KFC foods are designed to outlive me.

I also donated all my savings to Amy Bruce, that poor sick girl who was about to die in a hospital about 4,000 times. Funny, that girl has been 7 since 1993.(must be the food from McDonalds)

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their email programs.

And now I am positive this is because of a chain letter I broke, or forgot to follow up on, and received the curse from hell they are always telling you about.


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