Messing With The Reality Of Calories.....

1. If no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?

2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, do they cancel each other out?

3. When eating with someone else, logically, calories won't count if you both eat the same amount.

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Dazs ice cream. Medicinal due to the happiness effect involved in eating them.

5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel. This includes (but is not limited to) Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.

6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.

7. If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count. Those calories are required to strap to the other persons waist.

8. If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off. But you DO have to walk to make it happen.

9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has 0 calories, courtesy of Santa. Not so sure I still believe in that guy. Hasn't been all that effective for me, the zero calorie thing.



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