Monday, April 20, 2009

From Eggs To Politics

Watching the TV news, we find our highways aren't safe, our streets aren't safe, our parks aren't safe. But under our arms, we've got complete protection!

We don't seem to be able to get crime in check, so why don't we just legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Someone once asked me if I could fix eggs. I always thought that once eggs were broken, they couldn't be fixed.

President Obama really knows how to keep fit; the way he skips around the White House, runs all over the world, and jumps on Congress.

What you don't know may not hurt you, but it can amuse a lot of people.

The first all electric jet was making a cross country flight. The passengers heard this announcement:
~ This is the first all electric jet. We need no pilot, no crew. You press a button and we take off. Press another button and we land. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing can....

Government is an institution in which sound travels faster than light.

Just remember this: A person is born, lives, dies, and then buried. Soon after that he's fertilizer and makes the grass grow. Then a horse comes along, eats the grass and turns it into a by-product. So be careful what you step in. It may be your cousin.


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