If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the guy who once
said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and
replaced by exact duplicates." Here are some more of his gems:
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Laid Off? No Money Coming In? Maybe This Will Help.
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