I'm looking at the Pop-Tarts box, and I noticed they have directions on there. I give up on this species. They have two full sets of directions. They have toaster directions.
Which, I'm not making this up, the toaster directions are longer than one step. I don't know how it's possible that the directions are longer than one... You'd think it would be, (instructions on side of box....) "Step 1: Toast the Pop-Tarts...
Ok, go ahead, toast 'em... It's okay... Hey are you still reading this?"
But they've managed to break it up into smaller increments. These are the actual toaster steps. I wanna be in the room watching someone who has to consult these steps. "Okay, Number one: Remove pastry from pouch. (See the astonished look of confusion) (Person removes pastry)
O-kay... Yeah... I see where they're going with this. We are banging on all cylinders now. Okay, Number two: Insert pastry, oh okay, vertically! (Confused hand motions) ...into toaster! (Looks around, confused) ...I gotta get a toaster!"
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