Liabitlity Litigation

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the
following
warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you are whispering when you are not.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like a retard.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to think you can sing.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone
them at four in the morning.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you can logically converse with other members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than
most
people.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you
to think people are laughing WITH you.
_____
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
_____
WARNING: the cumsumson of alcahol may Mack you
tink you can tipe real gode


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